Update

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Hi guys!

As you’ve probably noticed I haven’t been active here for the last couple of months. I’m still writing, but much less than before I started working. I’m now lying on the sofa, recovering from the flu and thought I would give a general update on what I’ve been up to.

Mainly, I’m working now. And to be honest, I’ve been struggling a little bit for different reasons. I don’t want to go into it but some days I haven’t been able to write anything. Not blog posts, not short stories and definitely not anything longer. I’m picking it up, slowly but surely and writing still has my heart. But I don’t have time and energy for everything I want to do.

The good news is that I have recieved the final beta reading on my novella “Out of Hand” which I hope to self-publish in January (more on that at a later time) and that I’m almost done with the first draft of my other novella called “Under the Fallen Star”.

Once I’m done with that I’m planning to finally finish up the next installment of “Never Break a Leg Before Christmas.”

In the meantime enjoy the photo of my dog, Einstein. 😀

 

Dear past self…

It gets better.

Today I ran my fastest kilometer ever and it felt absolutely amazing. As I was feeling the world rush by, I couldn’t help but think back to just four years ago.

I can imagine the girl that I was, 22, run into the ground. When I was 22 I was… sad. I don’t want to say depressed because I never received any diagnosis nor did I seek help for it, but I was numb and completely empty inside. I cried every night. My body continued without me as I got up every day, as I cooked and cleaned, as I took care of my unwell girlfriend, as I listened to my mother cry every single day on the phone, as I worked part time and studied full time, as I counted every penny and knew that even if I cut myself in two and sold half we couldn’t afford food. Hardly rent. So I worked more. More money. Less time. But at least I didn’t have to stare at the tomatoes and cucumber and know that I had to choose. I couldn’t afford both.

And friends? I wasn’t too liked at my uni. We lived in the north and I was from the south. I didn’t speak like them. I didn’t know the area like them. I was isolated on the island we had created, far away from any friends and family. My girlfriend and I. Not really Swedish. We had only been in this country, my country, for two years. And I hated it. I missed Britain. I wished I hadn’t left the country I had lived my whole adult life in.

But at 22 I went back to writing. I had written earlier of course, but between the ages of 19 and 22 I wrote nothing. I didn’t have any words. But suddenly they came back with a vengeance. I wrote to feel something. To find myself again. To find the spark that had been killed as I had lost myself years before.

So I went looking. I went looking for the 17-year-old who had left home, fresh-faced and naive. I didn’t know the girl I had used to be anymore, all I knew was that she had died in Britain. She had died so that I could be born and at 22 I didn’t know who I was yet. I have tried telling people this. But they always say “you’re always so happy” and I guess I was always happy. I had the world on my shoulders and a smile on my lips. I was good at pretending.

I used to feel sorry for myself. Not the 22-year-old me, but the Kathy who was a teenager. The 18-year-old who lived alone in a cold flat in a little British town. No hot water. I boiled water on the stove to wash my clothes in the bathtub. The building I lived in was situated between three pubs and I would lay awake in my bed listening to the roars and shouts of the drunk people downstairs. In the winter my flat was so cold I would go to bed at 6 PM just to get warm again. Double trousers, jumper, cover and blanket. And I learned. I learned to cook, and after the skin fell of my hands I learned not to wash my clothes without plastic gloves.

But at the same time I lost myself.

I wanted to hug little me, and tell her that it’ll be okay and that I’m so sorry she had to die.

But everyone has to grow up sometime.

At 22 I changed. I found writing again, and a friend was nice enough to send me Jae’s Backwards to Oregon. Then several of Gil McKnight’s books. Which introduced me to lesbian fiction.

And I found myself again. My girlfriend stopped sleeping so much. We moved back south and I started studying here instead. I started believing in myself. I started running. I’m asthmatic and sometimes I thought I would die. But I ran. And I wrote. And I read. And I lived.

I don’t live by my past anymore. I don’t need every difficult thing to be a part of my identity and I have restored the connection with the girl I was. And now?

Now I’m married. We have two dogs. I have graduated and I have a wonderful job waiting for me that I’m starting on Monday. And this week I published my first novel.

And today I ran my fastest kilometer ever.

 

Before the Emergency

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Author note:

The story you’re about to read is not a story like my usual stories. It’s possible to read it as a standalone story, but otherwise it’s about the main protagonists that you will meet in my first novel “State of Emergency” which is to be published later this week. It contains snippets on how Mercedes and Idun fell in love. 

Cover is by the talented Deniz Pekin.

Beta read by my dear friends K and Narcosynthesis.

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… and they called it puppy love

“Rae?”

The soft voice by her door made Rae lift her head. She had ignored the earlier yells from somewhere in the house, but her homework wasn’t interesting enough to ignore Leone looking at her shyly.

“Can I come in?”

Why are you here? Leone had never visited her room like this before.

 Rae nodded and moved her chair back so there was enough room for Leone to come inside the tiny bedroom. “Of course it is.”

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State of Emergency Teaser

Today I’d love to share a small segment from my novel “State of Emergency” that’s going to be published on August 10.


“Idun! Thank God!”

It didn’t matter that Idun was tired and slightly groggy from the pain pills; she would recognize her sister’s voice anywhere.

 “Jo! Hey! What’s up?” She felt a twinge of guilt for not calling her sister for so long. Did Jo even know about Idun’s accident? I doubt Mercedes called and told her. Idun scoffed.

“Look, I don’t have much time. It’s very important that you listen to me now.”

Idun’s eyebrows knitted and she sat up to be able to focus. Sudden pain reminded her that she couldn’t yet move freely and she took Mercedes’ pillow and pressed it against her abdomen with her free hand.

“I’m listening.”

“Some bad things are going to happen and soon; I’m breaking more rules than I can count telling you this, but I couldn’t bear something happening to you.”

Idun hugged the pillow closer.

“You’re scaring me.”

“Good. I need you to hide. Don’t come out no matter what you hear. Not if someone calls for you, not if someone knocks on the door. Just stay away from the windows and hide. I’ll see if…” The call dropped.

“Jo? JO?” Idun looked at the phone. She couldn’t even call back since Jo had called from a private number. What is happening? She quickly called Mercedes’s number, her heart beating in her throat.

As the phone kept ringing and it became clear that nobody on the other end was picking up, Idun felt her throat turn dry; Mercedes always answered her calls.


What do you guys think?

10 Funny Book Dedications That Actually Got Published

This is so funny…

Books Rock My World

I love reading book dedications! Often, it is our first touch with an author. it is intimate to read those words that often show what they truly cherish in life, what they hope for the book, what they hold dear.

But sometimes, authors get bold, and instead of constructing a “proper” dedication, they write words that are unorthodox, honest and often humorous. Here are 10 of dedications like that!

  1. The Selection” by Kiera Cass
    hidad
  2. “Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book” by Babe Walker
    Strongest-Person
  3. An Introduction To Algebraic Topology” by Joseph J. Rotman
    book-dedication
  4. “The House of Hades” by Rick Riordan
    cliffhanger
  5. “My Shit Life So Far” by Frankie Boyle
    destroy
  6. “Austenland” by Shannon Hale
    colin_0
  7. “The Land Of Stories” by Chris Colfer
    af9ab3836bc0550c1df852c73d669790
  8. “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” by Mark Twain
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  9. “No Thanks” by E.E. Cummings
    ee_cummings
  10. “Post Office” by Charles Bukowski
    IMG_4404

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Exciting News

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I’m very pleased to announce that I’ve decided to self-publish my first novel, State of Emergency. I’ll have more information in the days and weeks to come, but the goal is for it to be out on August 10.

Here is the blurb:
Sweden, Present Day: Idun Tyr receives a warning from her sister, and army lieutenant, telling her to hide and not come out no matter what she hears. By the time she re-emerges, the world has changed. Her phone has no signal, the internet and televisions aren’t working, and her town is empty of people. Everyone is gone. She sets out to find her missing girlfriend, Mercedes and embarks on a long journey, learning to survive in this new reality. A dystopian lesbian novel about a country torn apart by a vicious disease, following three women on different sides: military, vigilante and prisoner.

Bubble and Squeak (short lesfic, romance)

Beta read by my lovely friend K.

 Hannah glanced at the tall figure next to her. Seeing Jane on her feet, smiling and alive was more than fantastic. If it wasn’t for the scrapes on her cheek, the black eye and the left arm resting in a sling, Hannah could almost pretend that everything was normal and that the past couple of weeks hadn’t happened.

 She reached for another potato to peel and in the same moment Jane reached for another egg. Their fingers brushed over the counter.

“Oh, sorry.” Hannah blushed as their eyes met briefly and she hurried to focus on the potato in front of her.

No. Nothing was normal. Nothing would ever be normal again. Everything was new and exciting and terrifying, all at the same time.

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