Am I an Out and Proud Lesfic Author?

While doing my writing this morning, I found myself listening to Lesbians Who Write podcast with Clare Lydon and T.B. Markinson. Specifically episode 17 which asks the question “Are you an out and proud lesbian fiction author?” which, naturally, made me wonder.

So… am I?

I’m very out as a lesbian. To my family (including the muslim side). To my coworker and boss. To my students. Not in the way that I announce that I’m gay (although I have of course said these words) but more like “oh yeah, we’ve always wanted to try that too. My wife and I, that is.” I bring her up in regular conversation, just like straight people do.

…but when it comes to my writing? Am I proud to write for the genre that I do?

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Lesfic Novels I’m Planning to Read this Summer

It is summer. A lot of people are finding themselves with more free time than usual, myself as usual. As a teacher, I have about two months off spanning over June, July and August. It is awesome and I usually take the time to play full-time author. It is also a time I try to read more books. Before the term finished I had been rereading all the Harry Potter books BUT I want to mix it up with some lesfics I haven’t read yet too.

Anybody who knows me is familiar with the fact that I’m a master re-reader. In fact, I usually don’t feel like I know a story before Ive read the same book at least twice or thrice. This can lead to crazy stuff, like me spending all of 2016 reading all of Radclyffe’s Honor-series just over and over but I digress. This summer I want to broaden my horizon with some new books and also some authors I haven’t checked out yet. Some of the titles are books I’ve been meaning to get around to but haven’t.

Read on to see which five books I have put on my list!

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A Tale of Spiders and Canned Soup – teaser

In a few weeks my new novel “A Tale of Spiders and Canned Soup” will be out.

The blurb can be found here.

“A knock on the open door brought her back to reality. And there Mika was. Light blue eyes, widened as if from exertion and a panting, strawberry mouth. Her hair, a golden messy thing, stood out in every direction as if she had been running against the wind. She was wearing a small green T-shirt that accentuated her slim waist and sinewy arms and combined with baggy jeans she gave the impression of a rag doll. A pretty rag doll. But a rag doll nonetheless.

Pauline shook her head to get rid of her stray thoughts and plastered a professional smile on her face.  

“Ms Lister?” The rag doll’s voice was soft and held together despite the breathlessness.

“Mika?” Pauline made a gesture to the chair in front of her desk. “Come in and sit down.”

*

Mika felt her cheeks strain as she met her new mentor’s smile. She sat down on the chair, willing her heart to stop trying to hammer its way out of her chest. She couldn’t believe she was late for her first meeting with her mentor; she could have physically slapped herself. Sorry, Molly, I can’t believe I’m screwing up already. She reached into her pockets and closed her fingers around her keychain. As the edges of the key dug into the flesh of her palm, she felt herself grow calmer.

“Hello.” Apparently her mentor was Australian. “My name is Pauline Lister.”

“Mika Sinclair,” Mika murmured even though Pauline already knew her name. “Nice to meet you.” Her mentor had short brown hair and was wearing a burgundy shirt. She looked nice. Professional and put together.

“You too.” Pauline said curtly. “I trust you found your way here no problem?”

“Yes, yes. I’m sorry for being late.” Mika nodded. And I would have come on time if I hadn’t decided to visit Philip, Becky and Natalie. She sighed when she thought about how her little foster siblings had cried when she said goodbye. She had had to pry Natalie’s fingers from her neck to even be able to leave.

“So I think we should go through the classes you’re having this semester, and you also have some choices to make.”

 “Oh?” Mika took out her notepad and a pen and got ready. She hoped that Pauline wouldn’t make her opt out of her health and social care class.

“First, I need to ask you what kind of degree you’re hoping for at the end of your studies.”

Mika felt her face heat.

“Well, I applied for a joint degree of sociology and history, but…” Her face was getting hotter and hotter and she prayed to God that her cheeks weren’t as red as she dreaded they were. “I wanted to exchange my sociology classes for anatomy, and a health and social class.”

 Pauline raised one eyebrow.

“It let me do that online.”

“Did it now?” Pauline looked at her own screen and clicked at something.  “You need to take at least one sociology class, I’m afraid. Introduction to sociology is mandatory.”

Mika frowned. She had hoped to trick the system somehow.

“Mika?”

She raised her head and their gazes met.

“Why are you studying sociology if you’re not interested in it?”

Because it’s what Molly would have wanted to study.

 Mika sighed.

“It doesn’t matter. Can I keep my anatomy class?”

Pauline looked puzzled but didn’t say anything else. She looked at the screen again.

“Yes you can. This semester you can take Introduction to sociology, one history class and one anatomy class.”

Mika nodded. She hugged the key tighter, not caring if it broke the skin. She fixated Pauline with her gaze, pleading her not to ask anything more.

“I can see here that you want to take Vikings class.” Pauline smiled and this time her smile looked more genuine and less out of politeness.

“Yes.” Mika nodded. She had looked at the different history classes the university offered and that had been the least boring one.

“Then I can only congratulate you on an amazing choice.” Pauline looked back at her screen but kept the easy smile.

“Huh?”

“That’s one of mine.””

O is for Online No More (not really) and an announcement

December was a very difficult month for me in spite of a little lovely trip. I had a medical procedure, reacted badly to medicine and spent the time between December 26th and January 5th in a sad fog. I’m okay, I am but there isn’t as much of me as there was before the holidays. I’m going to take it a bit easier now. Probably won’t be online as much on social media. I might still update my blog. I will definitely still write.

I actually sent “A Tale of Spiders and Canned Soup” to my publisher just before 2018 ended! I’ll make a proper announcement soon, with blurb, a teaser and eventually cover art in future posts.

Happy New Year everyone!Bildresultat för kiss smiley

Kerosene and a Spark (lesbian romance)

A.N: This is not “enemies to lovers”, but more “lovers to enemies”. Also NSFW and all that.  After writing the blog post yesterday I sat down to write non-stop. This is the result.


Ela loved power. She always had and probably always would. Her title, queen, was more than just a nickname since her dad dying. She had a proper throne now and the sentences she gave out stuck. Her word was law. However, this was not what she had wanted. The sword in her hand. The neck in front of her.

Kero’s neck.

It didn’t seem so long ago that Ela had pressed her teeth into that soft skin. Bit it. Not gently. It didn’t matter. Kero had always made her pay afterwards. Their trysts more battle than love-making. But Ela had never wanted to kill her. This was not what their dalliance was supposed to lead to. This was wrong.

“You might as well kill me.” Kero’s voice was husky as always, just the sound of it made Ela’s insides twist. Stupid woman, she thought, if Kero just could have been normal… Like everyone else. Or if she could have just not been a criminal. That would have been helpful. “Just do it. What are you, a chicken?”

“You dare to judge me?” Despite her harsh words, Ela kept her tone soft. “You want to die?”

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I is for Identity (on fan fiction, being a lesbian, and lesfics)

Yesterday I went horse-back riding for the first time in 12 years. And it was amazing. Once upon a time, I was quite the horse-girl, been riding since I was seven, filled my walls with posters featuring horses, etc etc… I’m sure most people recognize the stereotype. And then I moved from home, grew up and just forgot about all of it. I want to find my way back, I really do. It’s a huge part of who I am.

It was the same with writing. The first time I announced I was going to become a writer was when I was five years old. I wasn’t able to write yet, couldn’t even spell my own name properly (Before you judge, my legal name has nine letters. Count all my middle names plus last name, my name has 9+8+4+4=25 letters, that’s a lot when you’re little.) I don’t know why I said I was going to be a writer, I just did. More on that here.

So I started writing. First, through pictures – my dad helped me with the words – then by hand, then on a computer. My childhood and teenage years were dominated by five main stories that I planned and stuck to.

However, between 19 and 23 I didn’t write anything, I even stopped writing poetry. I went to university and then started moving around a lot. I didn’t pick it up until I, by mistake, discovered fan fiction.

Fan fiction is the reason I’m an author today. Not just because it got me back to writing. It did that, but it did so much more than that too. Fan fiction made me interact with people. These people became my friends, some of which I’m still in touch with today. One of these people, whom I’ve sadly lost in touch with, gave me a couple of presents.

The presents were: Backwards to Oregon by Jae, Second Nature by Jae and Lady Knight by L J Baker. I started with Backwards to Oregon and my life was forever changed. This might sound strange to some. But I was a lonely little lesbian. Except for my wife – then girlfriend ya da ya da – we didn’t meet people “like us”. At University of Aberdeen all my friends were gay boys (don’t ask me how that happened XD ). Other lesbians? They didn’t exist and if they did, it was far away from us. Not that I have that many lesbian friends now, but I know that we’re out there. I know some online and I know that we exist. We’re real, you know? The online community of lesfic writers and readers has done wonders for my sense of self and identity. Maybe that makes me incredibly silly, but it’s still the truth. It makes me feel less alone. Less abnormal.

I feel sorry for the readers of my old fan fiction account, because it’s abandoned now even though I get the occasional likes and follows. It still exists and I’m proud of most of the stuff I wrote there. Mass Effect, Dragon age, Game of Thrones, Rizzoli and Isles, Portal etc… it’s fun to play with other people’s characters, it just is. It was great practice for me too, until I felt ready to play around with my own. In the beginning I wrote both but more and more, my own fiction took over. I don’t have time and energy for both.

(If anybody is curious about my fan fiction you can find that here, however please remember that my writing ability has gotten so much better since then.)

I realize more and more that I’m the same person I’ve always been. I have always loved horses, I still do today. I have always loved writing and telling stories, I still do today. Some things change, of course, but all in all, I’m still me. That will never change.

 

G is for Good

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… or bad.

Yesterday I was lying in bed with my wife (that’s her hands and legs up there by the way). We were tired and silly and just talking and laughing. I can’t remember anymore how we got there but I decided to tell her about the most sensual part of a novel. I like stories that make me bleed. Stories that make me cry and ache. I just like feeling a lot. I like sadness. I don’t like vanilla stories were everything just falls into place.

Whenever I think of aching moments in stories, I often think about Radclyffe’s “Passion’s Bright Fury”. I love this book (And not just because I have a little crush on Saxon Sinclair). There is one specific scene that always destroys me.

This is the excerpt of that part (the scene is that Sax (the doctor) and Jude (the director) are going upstairs to the roof of the hospital before Sax’s shift starts. They talk a bit, make out a bit, and then the following happens) :

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Announcement

Stargazing ecvr

Tomorrow on the 22 of June, “Stargazing” comes out. It’s a lesbian romance about Star and Lissa who, even though the like each other, one fundamental difference. Lissa is a work-a-holic virgin and Star is a somewhat laid-back pornactress.

Here is the blurb:

“Lissa stared open-mouthed at the GIF that played over and over on the screen in front of her. Heat flushed to her face, igniting her skin. Her heart started pounding in her chest. Stupid internet, it should really come with a warning label. She swallowed once. Twice. Just scroll past it. Of course she was going to scroll past it. She wasn’t going to sit there and stare at… Star.

Lissa is a twenty-something party-planner. She’s never been interested in relationships or sex and as the years have gone by she has retreated more and more into her work. Everything changes when she meets Star, an porn actress with a heart of gold and a troubled childhood.

They say that opposites attract, but how much of that is true? What chance do they have when one of them is a virgin and the other one star in pornography?”

Stargazing Cvr