Kerosene and a Spark (lesbian romance)

A.N: This is not “enemies to lovers”, but more “lovers to enemies”. Also NSFW and all that.  After writing the blog post yesterday I sat down to write non-stop. This is the result.


Ela loved power. She always had and probably always would. Her title, queen, was more than just a nickname since her dad dying. She had a proper throne now and the sentences she gave out stuck. Her word was law. However, this was not what she had wanted. The sword in her hand. The neck in front of her.

Kero’s neck.

It didn’t seem so long ago that Ela had pressed her teeth into that soft skin. Bit it. Not gently. It didn’t matter. Kero had always made her pay afterwards. Their trysts more battle than love-making. But Ela had never wanted to kill her. This was not what their dalliance was supposed to lead to. This was wrong.

“You might as well kill me.” Kero’s voice was husky as always, just the sound of it made Ela’s insides twist. Stupid woman, she thought, if Kero just could have been normal… Like everyone else. Or if she could have just not been a criminal. That would have been helpful. “Just do it. What are you, a chicken?”

“You dare to judge me?” Despite her harsh words, Ela kept her tone soft. “You want to die?”

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K is for Kerosene

…actually, K is not for kerosene at all but close enough to energetic. I struggled with this letter. All the words I thought of start with a k in Swedish but a c in English.

I’ve been ill for a few days. Bedridden when I should have been at a birthday-party; under a blanket when I should have been dancing, you get the idea. Today, after taking a nap, I woke up extremely hyper. My brain is on overdrive and my body can’t keep up. In the past, let’s say at the tender age of 23 I would have channelled this energy into a very smutty fan fiction but now that I’m older and wiser I think I shall instead use it for something using original characters. After writing this blog post, that’s what I’m going to do. Write a very small, hopefully very sexy, one-shot using who knows what characters my brain can come up with so be on the look-out for that.

Otherwise I have finished the planning of my fifth novel, “The Biggest Secret” (working title) and within a week or so I’ll start writing that. But today, tonight, maybe a short lesbian story is actually what my mind needs to focus on. I tried reading first (Dangerous Waters by Radclyffe) and I just couldn’t focus.

In other news, work has started. I hope to still be active on social media but as all my readers know, that’s not something I can promise. Just next Tuesday, we’re pulling a 12 hours shift and between planning and correcting and stressing over what might happen, a lot of times my creativity is ground into dust.

Fun fact: K could have been for Kathy which is based on Katarina, my legal middle name.   I’m going to go and write something decadent now, which me luck!

I is for Identity (on fan fiction, being a lesbian, and lesfics)

Yesterday I went horse-back riding for the first time in 12 years. And it was amazing. Once upon a time, I was quite the horse-girl, been riding since I was seven, filled my walls with posters featuring horses, etc etc… I’m sure most people recognize the stereotype. And then I moved from home, grew up and just forgot about all of it. I want to find my way back, I really do. It’s a huge part of who I am.

It was the same with writing. The first time I announced I was going to become a writer was when I was five years old. I wasn’t able to write yet, couldn’t even spell my own name properly (Before you judge, my legal name has nine letters. Count all my middle names plus last name, my name has 9+8+4+4=25 letters, that’s a lot when you’re little.) I don’t know why I said I was going to be a writer, I just did. More on that here.

So I started writing. First, through pictures – my dad helped me with the words – then by hand, then on a computer. My childhood and teenage years were dominated by five main stories that I planned and stuck to.

However, between 19 and 23 I didn’t write anything, I even stopped writing poetry. I went to university and then started moving around a lot. I didn’t pick it up until I, by mistake, discovered fan fiction.

Fan fiction is the reason I’m an author today. Not just because it got me back to writing. It did that, but it did so much more than that too. Fan fiction made me interact with people. These people became my friends, some of which I’m still in touch with today. One of these people, whom I’ve sadly lost in touch with, gave me a couple of presents.

The presents were: Backwards to Oregon by Jae, Second Nature by Jae and Lady Knight by L J Baker. I started with Backwards to Oregon and my life was forever changed. This might sound strange to some. But I was a lonely little lesbian. Except for my wife – then girlfriend ya da ya da – we didn’t meet people “like us”. At University of Aberdeen all my friends were gay boys (don’t ask me how that happened XD ). Other lesbians? They didn’t exist and if they did, it was far away from us. Not that I have that many lesbian friends now, but I know that we’re out there. I know some online and I know that we exist. We’re real, you know? The online community of lesfic writers and readers has done wonders for my sense of self and identity. Maybe that makes me incredibly silly, but it’s still the truth. It makes me feel less alone. Less abnormal.

I feel sorry for the readers of my old fan fiction account, because it’s abandoned now even though I get the occasional likes and follows. It still exists and I’m proud of most of the stuff I wrote there. Mass Effect, Dragon age, Game of Thrones, Rizzoli and Isles, Portal etc… it’s fun to play with other people’s characters, it just is. It was great practice for me too, until I felt ready to play around with my own. In the beginning I wrote both but more and more, my own fiction took over. I don’t have time and energy for both.

(If anybody is curious about my fan fiction you can find that here, however please remember that my writing ability has gotten so much better since then.)

I realize more and more that I’m the same person I’ve always been. I have always loved horses, I still do today. I have always loved writing and telling stories, I still do today. Some things change, of course, but all in all, I’m still me. That will never change.

 

Announcement

Stargazing ecvr

Tomorrow on the 22 of June, “Stargazing” comes out. It’s a lesbian romance about Star and Lissa who, even though the like each other, one fundamental difference. Lissa is a work-a-holic virgin and Star is a somewhat laid-back pornactress.

Here is the blurb:

“Lissa stared open-mouthed at the GIF that played over and over on the screen in front of her. Heat flushed to her face, igniting her skin. Her heart started pounding in her chest. Stupid internet, it should really come with a warning label. She swallowed once. Twice. Just scroll past it. Of course she was going to scroll past it. She wasn’t going to sit there and stare at… Star.

Lissa is a twenty-something party-planner. She’s never been interested in relationships or sex and as the years have gone by she has retreated more and more into her work. Everything changes when she meets Star, an porn actress with a heart of gold and a troubled childhood.

They say that opposites attract, but how much of that is true? What chance do they have when one of them is a virgin and the other one star in pornography?”

Stargazing Cvr

So I Went Anyway!

…thanks to wife and sister (who is gay too btw!).

We were caught in the rain by the end of it but it was so much fun.

Some photos:

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There were police horses (which you can kind of see in the photo above) which were wearing rainbow flags! But Sheeba kept barking and sometimes it was hard to take photos from where we were standing. (Plus I pretty much suck with a camera so…)

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But yeah, it started pouring down. We ran down to the tram station but we still had to wait without cover for ten – fifteen minutes, we arrived home completely drenched. But enjoy my silly face.

Time to take it easy now, drink some tea and play some video games.

Have a good weekend everybody! 🙂