K is for Kerosene

…actually, K is not for kerosene at all but close enough to energetic. I struggled with this letter. All the words I thought of start with a k in Swedish but a c in English.

I’ve been ill for a few days. Bedridden when I should have been at a birthday-party; under a blanket when I should have been dancing, you get the idea. Today, after taking a nap, I woke up extremely hyper. My brain is on overdrive and my body can’t keep up. In the past, let’s say at the tender age of 23 I would have channelled this energy into a very smutty fan fiction but now that I’m older and wiser I think I shall instead use it for something using original characters. After writing this blog post, that’s what I’m going to do. Write a very small, hopefully very sexy, one-shot using who knows what characters my brain can come up with so be on the look-out for that.

Otherwise I have finished the planning of my fifth novel, “The Biggest Secret” (working title) and within a week or so I’ll start writing that. But today, tonight, maybe a short lesbian story is actually what my mind needs to focus on. I tried reading first (Dangerous Waters by Radclyffe) and I just couldn’t focus.

In other news, work has started. I hope to still be active on social media but as all my readers know, that’s not something I can promise. Just next Tuesday, we’re pulling a 12 hours shift and between planning and correcting and stressing over what might happen, a lot of times my creativity is ground into dust.

Fun fact: K could have been for Kathy which is based on Katarina, my legal middle name.   I’m going to go and write something decadent now, which me luck!

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J is for Jae

In my last post I talked about how reading Backwards to Oregon changed my life. Backwards to Oregon was written by Jae, whom I have had the fortune of interviewing!

Jae1

I think most people know who you are, but let’s say there is someone reading who doesn’t, what would you say is the most important thing to know about Jae?

That I love books—writing them, reading them, editing them. When it comes to my own books, I want my readers to know that I work hard to deliver a high-quality book every time, with three-dimensional characters and a realistic love story that makes you fall in love with both characters too.

Do you prefer e-books or physical books?

 It’s not an either/or thing for me. I buy mostly e-books because otherwise I would run out of space on my bookshelf. Plus e-books are really convenient when you’re traveling. But if I really like a book, I’ll buy it as a paperback too.

 Do you feel different about writing now than when you first started?

 Honestly, no. I was always passionate about writing, and I still am. But, of course, now writing is my job too, so that means I can’t skip a day of writing because I don’t feel motivated. Being a full-time writer isn’t all about sipping lattes all day and feeling kissed by the muse. Sometimes it’s hard work. But it’s still the best job in the world.

 Once you said, in an interview, that one of your biggest fears was having all characters be the same – do you feel like you’ve managed to not do this?

 I’ll let my readers by the judge of that. So far, I think I managed to avoid it. I see it so often with writers who publish several books a year. Sometimes, their books and characters are weak copies of earlier novels. I don’t want that to happen to me, so I put a lot of extra effort into creating my characters. I create character sketches that include a lot of details from their childhood, past relationships, job history, their fears, strengths, and weaknesses. I want my characters to be fully developed story people that my readers want to hang out with.

 Would you say Backwards to Oregon is your biggest success?

Something in the Wine_Jae

 That depends on what criteria you use to measure success. It’s not my best-selling novel of all times (that would be Just for Show and Something in the Wine) nor did it win the most awards (that would be Second Nature, which won five awards). But it’s certainly a book that still resonates with readers. When I asked readers for their all-time favorite lesbian / women-loving women novel for the free choice square of Lesbian Book Bingo, Backwards to Oregon was one of the top 15 answers.

If you didn’t work as a full-time writer and editor, is there any other field that interests you? Psychology again or something else?

 I’m interested in a lot of things, but I’m not sure I’d want to do any of them for a living. Being a psychologist was great, but since I’m an introvert, working with people all day took a lot out of me, so I probably wouldn’t want to do that again. Honestly, being a full-time writer is a dream come true for me. But if I couldn’t do that for some reason, I’d love to do something else with languages.

 How do you balance writing with the distraction of social media and the internet?

 I always say the Internet is the biggest blessing and the greatest curse for writers. I try to do my writing in the morning and early afternoon and turn off the Internet until I meet my daily word count goal. If I use the Internet to look up things while I write, I sometimes fall down a research rabbit hole… Half an hour later, I find myself reading a fascinating article that has nothing to do with my initial research question at all.

Once I’m done writing for the day, I do marketing, connect with readers via social media, and answer email in the afternoon.

 Do you have a favourite social media?

 Hmm… In the past, I would have said Facebook, since I started out not liking Twitter much. But over time, that has definitely changed. I’ve been on Instagram for just a few months, and I really like it. Having a mainly image-based social media is a nice change of pace.

 Is there any novel of yours that took longer to write than the others?

Just Physical_Jae

 The writing itself almost always takes the same amount of time—about three months for the first draft. What differs is how long the research phase and the revisions take.

Just Physical is the book that I spent most time revising. I had to rewrite the entire book several times to get Jill’s emotional journey right. When it comes to research, my historical romances (Backwards to Oregon, Hidden Truths, and Shaken to the Core) took much longer, and I also did a lot of research on asexuality before I started writing Perfect Rhythm. So these would be the books that took the longest to finish overall.

 When you start planning a new novel, do you start with the story or the characters?

 Always the characters. They are at the core of the story. They are the story. Once I know who the characters are and what they need to learn and how they need to grow during the course of the book, that determines the plot.

 If someone had never read any of your books, which one do you think they should start with?

 That depends on what kind of books they like to read. If they like historical fiction, I’d say start with Backwards to Oregon. If they like paranormal romance, I’d say start with Second Nature. If they are mainly reading contemporary romance, I’d say either Just for Show (which is a romance that starts out as a fake relationship) or Damage Control (which is a celebrity romance).

 Is there anything in your writing journey that you’d like to go back and change?

 Not much actually. Maybe making that huge leap into writing full-time a little sooner or with more confidence. But all in all, I look back without any regrets.

 What is next for you?

Paper Love_Jae

 I’m eagerly awaiting the publication of my newest romance novel, Paper Love, which will be available everywhere on August 29. It’s my first book that is set in Germany—in the city where I live—and I’m curious to find out what readers think.

I’m in the middle of doing research on my next novel, book #2 in the Fair Oaks series. It will have different main characters than book 1 (Perfect Rhythm) but takes place in the same small town in Missouri.

 I’m also traveling a lot right now. I just got back from a trip to the US for the GCLS conference, and I’ll leave for EllCon in Bristol soon. It’s always great to spend some time among people who are just as passionate about books and about lesbian fiction as I am.

Jae2

You can find out more about Jae here.

I is for Identity (on fan fiction, being a lesbian, and lesfics)

Yesterday I went horse-back riding for the first time in 12 years. And it was amazing. Once upon a time, I was quite the horse-girl, been riding since I was seven, filled my walls with posters featuring horses, etc etc… I’m sure most people recognize the stereotype. And then I moved from home, grew up and just forgot about all of it. I want to find my way back, I really do. It’s a huge part of who I am.

It was the same with writing. The first time I announced I was going to become a writer was when I was five years old. I wasn’t able to write yet, couldn’t even spell my own name properly (Before you judge, my legal name has nine letters. Count all my middle names plus last name, my name has 9+8+4+4=25 letters, that’s a lot when you’re little.) I don’t know why I said I was going to be a writer, I just did. More on that here.

So I started writing. First, through pictures – my dad helped me with the words – then by hand, then on a computer. My childhood and teenage years were dominated by five main stories that I planned and stuck to.

However, between 19 and 23 I didn’t write anything, I even stopped writing poetry. I went to university and then started moving around a lot. I didn’t pick it up until I, by mistake, discovered fan fiction.

Fan fiction is the reason I’m an author today. Not just because it got me back to writing. It did that, but it did so much more than that too. Fan fiction made me interact with people. These people became my friends, some of which I’m still in touch with today. One of these people, whom I’ve sadly lost in touch with, gave me a couple of presents.

The presents were: Backwards to Oregon by Jae, Second Nature by Jae and Lady Knight by L J Baker. I started with Backwards to Oregon and my life was forever changed. This might sound strange to some. But I was a lonely little lesbian. Except for my wife – then girlfriend ya da ya da – we didn’t meet people “like us”. At University of Aberdeen all my friends were gay boys (don’t ask me how that happened XD ). Other lesbians? They didn’t exist and if they did, it was far away from us. Not that I have that many lesbian friends now, but I know that we’re out there. I know some online and I know that we exist. We’re real, you know? The online community of lesfic writers and readers has done wonders for my sense of self and identity. Maybe that makes me incredibly silly, but it’s still the truth. It makes me feel less alone. Less abnormal.

I feel sorry for the readers of my old fan fiction account, because it’s abandoned now even though I get the occasional likes and follows. It still exists and I’m proud of most of the stuff I wrote there. Mass Effect, Dragon age, Game of Thrones, Rizzoli and Isles, Portal etc… it’s fun to play with other people’s characters, it just is. It was great practice for me too, until I felt ready to play around with my own. In the beginning I wrote both but more and more, my own fiction took over. I don’t have time and energy for both.

(If anybody is curious about my fan fiction you can find that here, however please remember that my writing ability has gotten so much better since then.)

I realize more and more that I’m the same person I’ve always been. I have always loved horses, I still do today. I have always loved writing and telling stories, I still do today. Some things change, of course, but all in all, I’m still me. That will never change.

 

G is for Good

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… or bad.

Yesterday I was lying in bed with my wife (that’s her hands and legs up there by the way). We were tired and silly and just talking and laughing. I can’t remember anymore how we got there but I decided to tell her about the most sensual part of a novel. I like stories that make me bleed. Stories that make me cry and ache. I just like feeling a lot. I like sadness. I don’t like vanilla stories were everything just falls into place.

Whenever I think of aching moments in stories, I often think about Radclyffe’s “Passion’s Bright Fury”. I love this book (And not just because I have a little crush on Saxon Sinclair). There is one specific scene that always destroys me.

This is the excerpt of that part (the scene is that Sax (the doctor) and Jude (the director) are going upstairs to the roof of the hospital before Sax’s shift starts. They talk a bit, make out a bit, and then the following happens) :

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B is for Books

I took an embarrassing amount of time to think of a word for the letter B. I thought of babies, but I don’t have much to say about that right now. I thought of bananas, but even though I don’t eat them I’m not a banana hating extremist and I don’t have much to say about that either. It could be B for blog but I’ve already talked about my lack of blogging enough times. For some reason the word “books” didn’t cross my mind until last week.

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Happy New Year


2017 was one of the best years of my life. It was the year I was hungover for the first time (the morning after my 28th birthday). The year I learned to blow bubbles with bubblegum. The year I signed with a publisher. The year I went to Universeum three times. The year I made so many new friends. It was a year of happiness. Of stability.

Welcome to 2018! Hopefully a year of action. Of being a more prolific writer even during working weeks. A year of no procrastination. A year where I’m hoping to bullet journal properly. A year where maybe I… learn to play the piano? I don’t know. But I love the feeling of January 1st!

We have a friend over and she’s dying to go and watch The Last Jedi again so that’s what we’re doing with today and later I’m going to do some writing as well.

Let’s look at last years goals:

Revise and self-publish “Out of Hand”.
Revise and send “Stargazing” to a publisher.
Try to update my blog once a month.
Not let my tumblr die. If I have one, I need to use it.
Finish The New Story, another contemporary romance.
Please, please, please finish Never break a leg before Christmas, (Come on, Kathy, this is getting ridiculous).
Start the sequel for State of Emergency.

How did I do?
I revised and published (not self-published!) “Out of Hand”. I’m almost done with “Stargazing” and I hope to send it to my publisher later in January, maybe the beginning of February. I didn’t update my blog once a month. My tumblr is not dead. Instead I’m actually using it quite a lot, so that’s good. I *haven’t* finished “The New Story”. I haven’t finished “Never Break a Leg Before Christmas”. I haven’t started a “State of Emergency” sequel.

How do I feel about this?
Perfectly okay. This has been one of my most stimulating but difficult years of my life. I want to write more during 2018, but I’m perfectly fine with my input during 2017.

Author goals for 2018:


*Finish and publish “Stargazing”.
*Finish and publish “The New Story”.
*Be braver and more active on Twitter, probably on Facebook too.
*Read more books. And not just the same books over and over.
*Read more books about writing.

I feel that these goals are attainable and I’m excited to start.

Happy January 1st everyone!

Adventures in Teaching First Graders

…or the story on how time flies when (a million things happen at once) you’re having fun.

Because I am having fun. Honestly. Even when it’s hard. Even though I’ve had to scale down in my personal life just to survive the wear and tear of this term. There just isn’t much brain power left when you’re part-time parent to 25 six-year-olds. To those who don’t know it I’m a primary school teacher in my second year of teaching.

I want to share the story of one chaotic afternoon from a few weeks ago. All kids’ names have been changed.

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Well here we are… (beware frustration)

And what have I done? To be honest it feels like nothing. On average I’m writing 300 words a week if even that. Updating my blog isn’t even on the radar. Even though I want to, I really want to. It’s May. Last time I updated my blog was January.

I looked at my goals for the year yesterday. Almost all of them are writing-related. And what am I doing? I’m either dealing with the stupid health issues or working. There isn’t much energy for else. And most of the time I don’t even feel guilty. I’m doing the best with what I’ve been given. And you know what? I have less than twenty working days until the summer. And during the summer I will collect myself, get my body to work again properly and have so much time to write. Before then all I can do is bide my time.

So I’ll probably not write anything here until the middle of June, but luckily it’s not far away. In the meantime I can start thinking about what I actually want to blog about.

Before I graduated, the idea of my blog was short stories. And it kind of works (except the mess that is “Never break a leg before christmas”, I know I haven’t finished it and honestly I will) except during school weeks when lesson plans take up a lot of my creativity and energy. Whatevers left I want to give to novels or novellas. So what can I blog about? What do people blog about? I don’t have that much writing experience, I mean, I do but not if you compare to other bloggers. Especially not this dreadful year. I have very little experience with self-publishing. What can I write about then? Teaching. I have experienced with violent kids, kids with dyslexia, kids with ADHD, unhelpful parents. I can talk about being rootless, of not living in a place more than four years all my life. I guess I can talk about boats. And nature. I can talk about stress and guilt. Of putting on music and dancing around to it. What else is there to me?

IMG_20170501_184516My mum gave me this light. It runs on cooking oil, how cool is that?

Happy January 1st!

Here we are again, first of January! Welcome to 2017! I was reading my January first post from last year and I just feel like 2016 went incredibly fast.

So many things happened, not just in the world but in my own life. I got married, graduated and survived my first term as a proper teacher. I didn’t write as  much as I have in previous years but since I’ve been busier than ever, I’m not too disappointed with myself (well, I’m trying not to be).

My goals for 2016 were:

  • Finish On board the Monster (working title) which is my third novel.
  • Properly revise Out of Hand and add at least 20k words.
  • Find someone to publish State of Emergency.
  • Participate in Nanowrimo for the first time.

How did I do?

I *didn’t* finish On Board the Monster, it’s sort of on a semi-permanent hiatus. There are other stories that called my heart too much. Instead I started, and finished, a contemporary romance called Stargazing which is about a pornstar and a virgin who falls in love.

I did revise Out of Hand and added a buckload of words. It’s been through another bout of beta reading and editing and I’m planning to self-publish it in early 2017. But more on that in another post.

I self-published State of Emergency in August and loved the experience. I still want a publisher to publish it sometime in the future but we’ll wait and see.

I didn’t participate in Nanowrimo. There is no way I manage and I’ll not have that as a goal this year. In the middle of term it feels like I work 24 hours a day, planning, correcting, contacting parents, plus the actual teaching. There is no way I’ll manage to cram out 50k words in a month. That part of my life is over.

My new goals for 2017 are:

  • Revise and self-publish Out of Hand.
  • Revise and send Stargazing to a publisher
  • Try to update my blog once a month.
  • Not let my tumblr die. If I have one, I need to use it.
  • Finish The New Story, another contemporary romance.
  • Please, please, please finish Never break a leg before Christmas, (Come on, Kathy, this is getting ridiculous).
  • Start the sequel for State of Emergency. 

In just 12 days I’m moving to my new home. I think it’s going to boost my creativity a lot. The last six months I’ve been commuting four hours a day plus living in very tight quarters with too many other people.

I want this year to be a year of, well, writing again. More writing than 2016. Also happiness. And hope. And all the good things.

Happy January first everyone!