We didn’t have to put on the radio because Kathy sang the entire way there.
I start this blog post with a dilemma.
- I haven’t posted since July.
- I didn’t do my usual end of the year posts or “Happy January 1st” posts that I love to do.
- I don’t actually have anything to say that starts with an x. I did play around with the idea of “Xometimes I feel like an alien” a month ago but then times got better and I started to feel more human again.
This post is going to be divided into three updates. A life update, a job update and most importantly, an author update. So let’s get to it.
I have two novels coming out this year, I hope.
The first is something very exciting. Anyone who follows me on Instagram, have heard me mention “Bittersweet and Sparrow”. “Bittersweet and Sparrow” isn’t just my next novel but also the first installment in a fictional industrial age dystopian series. In February I shall start by posting teasers and blurb/cover reveals so look out for that. The first post shall be out on February first. Stay tuned for that! Great things are coming.
The second novel is a contemporary lesfic romance that I lovingly call “A Story of Two Charlottes”. It’s about about a romance with a big age gap between two teachers. I’m hoping to finish that before the summer.
I hope that my big summer project during 2021 will be the sequel to “Bittersweet and Sparrow”.
Most people know how much I struggled with my own job, as documented here and here. After last summer, I got messages saying how happy people were for me that I finally got out of there. I started working kindergarten at a newly opened school in the city. And it was great in many ways, I loved working with students from different backgrounds and it was amazing to have 10 different languages in my classroom, I learned to sing “head, shoulders, knees and toes” in Portoguese, Somali and Arabic. I met many new people, loved my new boss, made new friends. One of these turned out to be a talented artist who wounded up drawing the cover of my newest book.
BUT I missed my old school. At first it felt like I was just missing it because I was used to the chaos or because some strange form of Stockholm Syndrome. Whenever somebody mentioned that school, my place of origin, my chest ached a little bit. When I heard of them getting new management, or moving into new buildings, it just felt wrong. What was I doing here? What was I doing around these new people? I started to feel more and more misplaced. Like I shouldn’t have changed at all. I missed my old coworkers, the once who are still there. I missed the sense of belonging which I had felt every day there. One day in November last year, the boss from my old place of work contacted me and asked if I could come and teach a small group of special needs six graders. I’ve never done that before and still they feel like I’m the person for the job. So I’m going back, believe it or not. I finished my three months of notice last week and my first day back is on Monday. It’s strange to even write this here, considering how much I’ve spoken bad about it in the past… but when I got the call, I just knew. My heart and soul is in that school. It’s where I want to be. I’m supposed to be there. And I will get there, ready to fight.
And that’s how we get here. There was no happy new year posts on this blog. I think most of us made it out of 2020 with very strange feelings. I am one of the lucky ones, I live in Sweden, I’m a teacher, I got to work and live life like normal, albeit a bit bored. I was worried, I was scared but my family has so far made it through. Now I’m just praying my elderly parents can get the vaccine soon. January is almost done now but it doesn’t feel like a new year. I don’t have that exciting feeling of a new year. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Everything is different. I’ve grown tougher, I’ve grown more resilient, I know without a doubt what I’m supposed to do and where I’m supposed to do. After taking lessons, I’m getting closer to being fluent in Brazilian Portuguese, so that’s exciting. I learned how to properly hula-hoop during 2020. I got quicker at writing novels.
Everything is also the same. I feel like the older you get (and I’m 31 now) the more you turn into yourself. The genuine you that you were when you were a child. That’s what the quote at the top is about. When I was six or seven, I got to go with the neighbors to their holiday home on the countryside. It was a two hour something ride in the car. I don’t remember the car ride but I remember the mom telling my mom when we got back home that they hadn’t needed to turn on the radio for the entire ride because I had sung the whole way. That’s who I am and that’s who I remain.
May we all be ourselves. That’s my hope for us all.
If you have read this entire thing, I’m so sorry but also grateful. Feel free to check out any of my short stories that are up on my blog to read for free, or of course, any of my novels.
Lastly, I hope you will stick around To All the Lovely neWs that is coming your way on this blog, later this week. And yes, that was a clue.