At the beginning of time she had waited. There, at the birth of the sun and the stars, she had sat and stared. She had watched them explode before her eyes, she had felt the heat on her skin despite the cold at the back of her skull. The frozen earth hadn’t bothered her.
She had watched the beginning of history. How many days had she waited? How many weeks? Months? Years? She had waited for centuries, decades, lifetimes. She had thawed and frozen with the ebb and flow of time, watched the earth die and rise again. She had bided her time, waiting for the kiss that would thaw her self-imposed ice age.
I missed you. Words whispered between kisses. I missed you so much.
How can you? You’ve never met me before.
But I remember you.
Had she told her secrets? Familiar hands touching her as they danced a dance older than time. Lips kissing the inside of her thigh, hands spreading her open. She had thought that she knew death. She had watched the death of nations. But she knew nothing. There was nothing millenias of existence could have told her, that the lips surrounding her, sucking her, licking her, didn’t.
Her skin was on fire. She who had experienced the birth of solar systems, burnt hotter than anything she had ever experienced before. She thought she had known heat. But nothing could have prepared her for her lover painting her thigh with evidence of arousal.
She thought she had understood how cold something could be, but nothing could have prepared her for the quick lick on a nipple and the playful blow of air that followed. What did she know? In their lovemaking she was a child. Inexperienced and shy. The proverbial bride on her wedding night.
Laughter, almost mocking. Why are you blushing so much?
She had no answers. She had waited so long for this moment that now that it was here, she was missing it. She knew she had to stop time for just a little while. She needed to stop this moment right here, with a mouth on her breast and a hand between her legs and a fist of black hair between her fingers. She needed time to stop, just so she could enjoy this. So she could feel it. It was going to pass her by and then it would be gone. And all the waiting would have been for nothing. Was this even happening?
Time slowed down. The sultry sound of skin on skin faded to black as their eyes met.
A nip to her lip brought her back to reality. She had no power here in the marriage bed. She cried like a wounded animal even as she wanted to laugh in the delight of feeling alive, and being alive with somebody else in this way.
I’m going to… I’m going to… fuck!
Where was her lover going? She didn’t know and yet she knew that she wanted to go with her. She who had bore witness to the birth of more than one star should have known how it feels when power is released and something new begins. But this was something bigger. Something better. This was life. This was the bursting bud of the flower, the smell of spring rain and every single individual snowflake that had ever fallen and would ever fall to the face of the earth.
This was love. She realised and recognized it for what it was. How curious. How strange. How grand.
I remember you.
At the beginning of time she had waited. She had watched the world flow at her feet as a little girl. Learning to walk on the stepping stones of the galaxies, the universe her playground.
Her lover was a fraction of her lifespan. Her lover knew nothing of cosmos or time or how a supernova smelled just before it burned out. But what did she know? She knew nothing since before she saw this face that hovered above her, she had been blind. She must have been. It was the only explanation. And she hadn’t known how it felt when fingers reached into her, stretched her, completed her.
She howled again. And again. And whispered the only words that still held any meaning to her.
You, you, you, you
A million stars fell, the earth quaked and the volcano erupted. She died then.. She died a thousand times in the arms of her lover. She wailed as she lost herself in the dedicated and very careful administrations of someone who, in the end, knew more than she did. Had seen more than she had. Had lived more than she had.
She knew nothing. She sobbed, lost, found and home at last.